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Top Ten Tips for Dating Thai Women

People from all over the globe travel to Thailand.

And indeed there are many reasons to visit an exotic, tropical SE Asian country such as ‘The Land of Smiles’.

Particularly, it might be said, if you are male.

In fact whatever your gender and your reasons for visiting Thailand may be, it is no real secret that female beauty is a much-vaunted and highly-valued asset in Thailand, if not in Asia, and it will no doubt be encountered and noticed in measures by the majority of visitors, both male and female alike.

But particularly by males, one would imagine.

Perhaps you are a young (or even a not-so-young), free, single dude who fancies his chances with a Thai woman. And if you have thought about your options in terms of the possibility of this ever occurring, there are a few things to take into consideration first.

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Imagine you find yourself in the heart of Bangkok (and let’s just forget about ‘The Hangover’ or any other films that completely misrepresent the Thai capital for a second here), and consider that you are in reasonably close proximity to hordes of seemingly attractive Thai females.

How do you proceed exactly? What about language barriers, cultural differences, and misinterpreted expectations?

What are the Top Ten Tips for Dating Thai women in Bangkok or anywhere else in Thailand?

Of course many people would have by now heard of the huge numbers of ‘economically-challenged’ Thai women, largely from rural areas, who are poorly or sometimes (totally) uneducated, and are on the lookout for a ‘moneyed foreigner’ to marry in hope of a better set of circumstances than they find themselves in.

The outlook is not bright for most of these young women, and it is one of the realities of life for some females in a still-developing Asian country.

It may also have long been one of the prime reasons why many (mostly male) visitors from other countries, usually western in origin, have been making the trips to Thailand for decades. These guys may be willing to lend a hand to such females in the hope of finding a good wife. However, this is a totally different situation altogether to what we are on with here today, and is not related in context to this particular post.

So then — the very first thing to know in the Top Ten Tips for Dating Thai Women is that for the most part, the majority of Thai women DO NOT date non-Thais!

Sorry guys but this is simple fact, and there are a few good reasons for it. (However, it is not all of them, so if you do still want to try your luck then go ahead and follow these pointers for dating female Thais!)

1. Family is everything to Thai women

Thai women more often than not put their family first. They adore their mothers, are very close to any brothers or sisters that they have, and usually follow the wishes and plans of their parents when it comes to career choices. They may even intend to live with their parents in the future.

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So going against the wishes of either parent would be a major thing for most Thai females, and you would need to bear this in mind from the offset.

And while it is true that females from certain aspects of society in Thailand have slowly been becoming more liberal and independent for at least a couple of decades since the internet became more widely-used, most Thai women (in Thailand) still have a struggle with over-imposing family restrictions.

Many Thai women are, it has to be said, still very traditional and cultured in family terms when it comes to romance or dating, and if they happen to be from a Thai-Chinese family, there is a good chance that it will all be arranged for them and they will follow the tradition of going to live with the family of their spouse once married.

Love me love my family is rule number one!

2. Expect some possibility of language barriers 

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It may come as a surprise to some that Thailand is still remarkably low in the English language communication stakes, even compared to the rest of SE Asia. This is a fact that continues to confound many a would-be investor, businessman, foreign staff member or teacher — although again, it is changing slowly.

No-one knows exactly why the Thais have always been so reluctant or unable to grasp other languages (along with their relevant cultural aspects), but the fact is, if you are coming here expecting to go chatting to Thai women ‘willy-nilly’, the first thing you will probably encounter is shock, surprise, even panic – or they may just ignore you completely!

English is definitely being learned and used more in Thailand, but it is still, in terms of the general population — the minority of Thai society, who are actually skilled in the language. Understanding context is probably the most common problem encountered by many Thais when dealing with English, particularly with a metaphoric and idiomatic complex language like English.

This means that any Thai woman proficient in English (or any other language) would either have spent time abroad (which could have been for studying), graduated from an international school or university, and/or is working in an environment where the language is commonly-used.

Image by Adam Jones sourced from wikimedia commons 

3. They might seem a little insecure at times

And with good reason!

It might seem somewhat tiresome (or maybe refreshing?) for a guy from a country where women have been making obvious efforts to be strong and independent for aeons, to encounter this kind of behaviour.

But it does need to be considered that there is something like a four to one ratio of women to men in Thailand ! And to top that, Thai men are notoriously unreliable, and usually cheaters! What a complex!

As we said before beauty is a serious matter for Thai women, and with competition being so high, much effort is made in that department with most females aiming to look their very best — every time they venture out. Indeed heads will turn so take care yours doesn’t if you go on a date with a Thai woman.

4. They enjoy your attention 

This is related to the last point in some ways. Whether insecure or not, Thai women like to be told they look beautiful.

They like your attention. A lot.

What!? — you didn’t notice that subtle but different shade in her hair?!! (See point 3.)

Being very attuned to the level of attention that you may be giving them, some Thai women may even demand your attention, and will constantly be on the lookout for signs of increasing interest/lack of interest, including what is going on in your phone — who you are talking to, why you are looking at that picture, etc. – just like in the Thai soaps, as it turns out.

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So try and flow with this idea.

5. They will expect you to ‘be the man’

Even though things are changing in lots of countries right now as globalisation stretches out its reaches further and further, Thai culture is, most would admit, still somewhat male-dominated – at least outwardly.

So playing the ‘strong-and-silent’- type might not necessarily be the ticket when dating a Thai woman – she thinks you are not interested in her (see numbers 3 and 4).

You must take the lead, providing clear direction and protection at all times (except for when she is looking at or talking on her phone – which is pretty much constantly). Whilst adhering to point 5.

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6. They might not ‘get’ your jokes

Going back for a second to a previous mention of one of the ‘challenges’ often encountered when dealing with the actual use of English – context – it might be wise to limit, or emit completely, any attempt at humour with an unfamiliar context. (See point 2.)

This goes for any kind of joke or humour that is considered English-style – i.e. there being a high probability that it contains something slang, idiomatic, sarcastic, dramatic, or culturally-related. (See point 2.)

Be sure that if she is actually laughing it is out of either pure politeness or fear. She doesn’t get it. So leave it out son. (See point 2.)

7. Don’t expect any emotional long good-byes

If, for any reason, she decides she doesn’t like you enough to continue with a second date – even if one has been scheduled — there’s a fair chance you’ll just never hear from her again.

In typical Thai style, any potentially emotional or upsetting occurrence (quitting a job being another useful example here) is usually dealt with in one way – cut off dead, making it immediately non-existant.

Just disappeared. Forever.

Unless of course you love her enough to continue your pursuance and have yet further tests to encounter…? (Or maybe she couldn’t really understand what you were saying and/or didn’t like your attempts at jokes and was too uncomfortable to tell you.)

Anyway this is the best way. A bit like in the Thai soaps.

8. There may be a hidden fiery temper

Don’t doubt it or a minute.

Much of Asian society in general is not geared towards excessive demonstrations of emotion, so there is a fair bit of ‘keeping it in’, or possibly ‘saving it for later’ on the part of many a Thai woman.

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So don’t be surprised if she does respond mightily to any potential triggers that you may be sending in her direction. And be prepared for explosive, dramatic, emotional displays that could swing either way, depending on your ‘crime’. (To try and keep this in check, refer back to numbers 3 and 4.)

It may also be worth considering at this point (i.e. a date) that it is not entirely unheard of for some women in Thailand to have their spouses ‘taken out’, so to speak. Oh yes it does happen.

‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ takes on a whole new meaning when dealing with Thai women!

9. They will expect you to ‘keep’ or ‘take care’ of them

This is related in some ways to number 5, but taking the theme a little further.

As we said before, the gender roles are often quite clearly defined for Thai women (which could easily be quite different from your own views of how things should run exactly), and when dating one you might need to be aware of certain etiquette.

Most women in Thailand are likely to take their role of extreme femininity very seriously, which to them means being paid compliments, looked after, and paid for.

Even if you were lucky (and likely) enough to ‘cop off’ with a ravishing Thai beauty who was dripping in money – she would still expect you to be the one doing the shelling out (at least outwardly), as this is considered quite clearly as part of your role and allows her to demonstrate quite clearly to any potential observers (of which there are likely to be multitudes) that she has succeeded in attracting a good man who knows the rules!

Unlike many European gals who may be a little more familiar with ‘going Dutch’ on occasion, or even springing the occasional, paid-for treat, this is more likely to be a case of ‘no money, no honey’, to coin a somewhat clichéd but useful phrase.

 10. Thai women love cute and fluffy things

If you were planning on taking a Thai woman on a date to see your latest favourite action movie, you might want to consider its ‘cuteness value’.

Not really being ones for conversation that veers on the in-depth, serious or spiritual, nor being fans of loud, violent, macho action movies in another language, you may find that when dating Thai women you have to adapt (or be seen to) a few of your tastes.

Image by Adam Jones sourced from wikimedia commons

Don’t be afraid of embracing the endless array of quirky, romantic, light, cute (and possibly tedious and annoying) Korean films and series’ that she seems to be so interested in watching. Or even the Thai ones.

Don’t be afraid of showing your sensitive side — whilst adhering strictly to point 5!